Oh, damn, they canceled my Visa. Oh, yay, a new MasterCard! What?
靠 我的维萨卡被撤了 哦也 新的万事达卡 干嘛
I was going to get my mail.
Okay. Are... are you hoping to get it telepathically?
I think you mean telekinetically.
And no. I just wasn't sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.
不是 我只是不确定用哪种社交礼节 因为你和莱纳德如今不交媾了
God, can we please just say "no longer seeing each other"?
Well, we could if it were true. But as you live in the same building, you see each other all the time.
那得真的不见才行 可你们住在同一栋楼里 低头不见抬头见
The variable which has changed is the coitus.
Okay, here's the protocol: you and I are still friends, and you stop saying "coitus."
咱来定个协议 你我继续做朋友 还有你别再说"交媾"
Good, good. I'm glad we're still friends. Really?
好啊 我很高兴我们还是朋友 真的吗
Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life.
I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain. Right.
Just to be clear, do I have to stop saying "coitus" with everyone or just you? Everyone.
再问清楚 我不能跟所有人说交媾还是只是不能跟你说 所有人
Harsh terms. But all right, I'll just substitute "intercourse."
协议条款真苛刻 不过没关系 我可以用"性交"代替
Great. Or "fornication."
Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones,so I'll hold that in reserve.
So, how you been?
Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
You're just coitusing with me, aren't you? Bazinga.
你就是逗我玩 是吧 逗你玩
How's Leonard doing?
He seems all right.
Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on.
Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.
I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it.
I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce. Yep.
That's the sauce my mother uses.
She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.
Interesting. I'll have to have you over for spaghetti some night.
I'm hungry now.
Oh. Um, okay. Why don't you give me an hour and come over?
Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?
I don't have hot dogs.
Oh, it's all right; I do. Oh! You're in for what my mother calls "a real Eyetalian treat".
没关系 我有 你就要做我妈妈所说的"美意大餐"
Hey, where you been?
I was talking with Penny.
What's wrong with you? You can't hang out with your roommate's ex. That's totally uncool.
你怎么能这样 你不能和室友的前任一起玩 这未免太逊了
No, it's fine. I don't care. I'm over it.
没关系 我不在乎 我已经走出来了
Yeah, he's over it; that's why he's been whining all day about trying to invent that memorywiper gizmo from Men in Black.
对 走出来了 所以他整天都在怨念要发明《黑超战警》里的洗脑装置
Is he making any progress?
Because I'd like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil. So would Ben Affleck.
The point is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides.
You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Which one picks last? What?
Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.
Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you're hungry.
谢尔顿 我给你买了陈皮鸡丁 你应该饿了吧
Well, of course I'm hungry.
And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto.
Okay. Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?
好吧 只是出于好奇 我们还有热狗吗
I don't know. Why?
Just making dinner conversation. Go, Team Leonard!
吃饭时随便聊聊而已 加油 小莱队
Oh, God, this is good.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you believe you're going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Jews don't have hell. We have acid reflux.
Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?
Certainly. It's not like I have to moderate my food intake because I'm planning on eating again very shortly.
So, you guys want to do something tonight?
Nah, I can't. I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class.
18 overweight women flapping their arm fat in a swimming pool. Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.
What about you, Raj? Oh, there it is: now that you don't have a girlfriend, you want to hang out with me again.
你呢 拉杰 这算什么 你没有女朋友了 就又想跟我玩了
I never stopped hanging out with you.
Oh, please, we all know I'm the friend you call when you have no other options.
If we were the Justice League, I'd be Aquaman.
I wish you were Aquaman. Then I could send you to scoop my mom out of the old lady tank.
Excuse me, I'm thirsty, so I'm going to go to the refrigerator and get myself a refreshing beverage.
抱歉 我渴了 我要去冰箱里拿点清凉饮料喝
You know what? I'll just spend the evening alone.
What, suddenly I'm not good enough for you?
I do so love beverages.
Now I think I'll take my afterdinner walk.
Since when do you take afterdinner walks?
Yeah, since when do you take walks?
I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increases serotonin,
我在网上看过一篇论文 饭后百步走不仅有助于消化 还能增加5羟色胺的含量
and you know me, if there's one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it's serotonin. Byebye.
而且你们也知道的 如果说相比提神饮料我更喜欢什么 那肯定就是5羟色胺了 拜拜
Hold on. I'll walk down with you.
That's not necessary. You can go first. Or we could go together.
没那个必要吧 你先走吧 要么咱俩一起走
I can't think of a reason why not. Let's go. Hold on. Nope, no reason.
我想不出什么理由拒绝你 咱们走吧 等一下 没事 我还是想不出什么理由
I've missed you.
All right, say hello to your mother for me. Okay.
行了 代我向你妈妈问好 行啊
What? You said you were going for a walk.
I didn't say outside.
So what, you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.
不会 当然不会 那样的话就太可疑了
Here, Russell! Here, boy! Which way are you going?
到这儿来 拉塞尔 过来呀 宝贝儿 你往哪边走
Which way are you going?
I parked my scooter down the block.
I'm going the other way. Bye. Bye.
我走另一边 拜拜 拜拜
Actually, I'm this way.
Do I smell hot dogs?
No. I mean, I have no idea what you smell.
不是 我是说 我不知道你闻到了什么
I definitely smell raw hot dog.
Perhaps you're getting a brain tumor.
All right, have a nice walk.
I shall. Have a nice scoot.
You might want to stand back. I'm sitting on top of 13 horses here.
Oh. Hello, doggie. Nice doggie.I bet you think you smell hot dogs. Look, a cat!
你好啊 狗狗 乖狗狗 估计你是闻到热狗的香味了 看 有猫咪
Penny? Penny. Penny. Here. I had to trade the others for my life.
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮 给 剩下的热狗被我拿去保命了
Hey, Leonard? Yeah? I haven't had sex in a year.
喂 莱纳德 怎么了 我有一年没做爱了
Where you going with this, Raj?
Don't flatter yourself, dude.
I want to go out and meet a woman. So, go. Well, I need a wingman.
我想出去找个女人 那就去呗 我要找个帮手
I don't want to come off like a lonely loser.
And you think my presence will help with that?
Well, I do. Next to you, I'll look like a catch.
对呀 有你在旁边 我有更有把握了
I'm not going out tonight, Raj.
All right. Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded some Asian pornography?
Very much. Doesn't have to be Asian.
Don't worry. You'll meet a girl someday.
No, I won't. Yes, you will, and she'll be beautiful.
不可能的 绝对可能 而且还很漂亮
And kind and sexy and funny and everything you ever wanted in a woman.
善良 性感 幽默 绝对是你梦中情人的样子
You really think so?
I do, and you'll fall hopelessly in love and give her your heart.
没错 你会一发不可收拾地爱上她 向她敞开心扉
And she'll take it and grind it into pathetic, little pieces.
But we'll have sex first, right?